Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The Final 5

New Rule: If you acted in a FOX sketch comedy show, and your best character was an ugly woman, then you should never be given an Oscar. Let alone allowed to teach youngsters how to sing. As you can tell by the contestants, anybody can get a record deal... even an Actor.

Three weeks left... Thank Science!

Kris: I think Jaimie wanted to "blow" him "away". Your right, Jaimie... He really does "BLOW". I closed my eyes and imagined if I would consider that a good song. He was mediocre... He'll make it to the finals. Not because of talent, but because he is last of the young, small-town, non-gay acting, non-thick-black-rimmed-prick singers left.

Allison: Did Jaimie say he was going to give Allison "The Shocker"? One more year, to almost the day, till she's legal. She just doesn't stand a chance against all the male egos. She needs to dress more goth, or turn Christian clique; or she will maintain her originalness and lose the show.

Matt: Still got the hat. Can cover up his forehead, but can't cover up his talent. He won't get the votes. Who cares how good he may have sung, it doesn't matter. Danny "big glasses and Christian-safe" Gokey and Adam "Diva-Cross-Dressing" Lambert are Personalities... that is what voters want.

Danny: Jaimie is so full of shit. They do not need 4 judges for this show. Get rid of Randy and Kara. I just want a minute to minute-and-a-half Paula ramble and something constructive by Simon. O.K. He finished that out strong. Pretty Good.

Adam: He should have came out in FULL DRAG with this song. I am sure that there are 3 performers like him singing down in The Short North District this Saturday Night... except they are in high-heals, falsies, fabulous hair, and a ton of makeup.

I am so done with the show.

Who will go: Allison

Who will Win: Adam

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Never Gonna Give You Up...


Find out what it is, and why it matters.

Then, check this out. (WARNING: Follow this last link only after you've checked out the first two.)

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The Super 6

The Top 6. I sure hope they end the show on time. Matt lives to see another day. Two go tomorrow. Great, to listen to the TWO worst singers tomorrow.

Disco week? You ain't Jive Talkin', they are really going to sing disco?

The Top 6

Lil: look at that ASS!!!! lettin' it all hang out! Let that badonkadonk free!! Singing at Wheeling Island Racetrack and Gaming Resort in 6 months... Lil Rounds. She is Chaka "Gone".

Kris: He should play with more people who have a darker complexion. He did pretty good. I didn't mind it. What is Paula talking about? He likes woman's clothes? Paula is freaking screwed up.

Danny: Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Twice as Nice 'n Cheesy. All the old ladies are up dancing.

Allison: All she has to do is go more Lady GaGa and teenage girls will vote her the winner. She is real good. America, don't be stupid... keep her over Danny.

Adam: I am anticipating something... Diva-Like. Let's see. He's a man who loves to dress like a woman who is pretending like she is acting like a man. Adam moved Paula to a high emotional state. Paula is so messed up. WTF is up with her?

Matt: I think of the dance scene from Airplane! when I hear this song. I was waiting for him to throw his hat and it fly back at his head. He stayed alive for one more week. America was right last week. Anoop is his only hope now.

Anoop: Anoop! Too pink of a vest, Man! Too non-threatening. Anoop! You shot yourself in the foot! You did yourself in! I was expecting some huge Bollywood dance number with background dancers!

Lil and Anoop are gone.

Adam wins the damn thing.

We Didn't Start the Flame War

That was good, but here's a link to the funniest thing I've seen all day. Enjoy.

Monday, April 20, 2009

The Best of Rocket Whorse

Its not Hip Hop Booty Shake, but Rocket Whorse is slated to release an upcoming Greatest Hits album.

Some of the included tracks will be:
Float On (Modest Mouse)
Cool for Cats (Squeeze)
Pretend We're Dead (L7)
Nine in the Afternoon (Panic at the Disco)
That's What You Get (Paramore)
Where Did You Go (Mighty Mighty Bosstones)
Alex Chilton (Replacements)
PDA (Interpol)
I Was Wrong (Social Distortion)

Thursday, April 16, 2009

This Is Just Wrong...

but all I have to say is, "Don't worry, India. Anoop is still on American Idol."

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Top 7

Quentin Tarantino on American Idol? What is wrong with the world today? Has the whole world gone mad? I don't know to think about this one. Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill vol 1 & 2 and ... American Idol?

I missed the last 10 seconds of Fringe last week. I went over 5 minutes on my DVR, but I was still off by 10 seconds. I know something freaky happened those last 10 seconds because it just cut to somebody driving a van and the camera was panning toward a person driving the van. But do I know who that person was? No!

Quentin was on American Idol before? I have lost all respect for him now.

The American Idol top 7:

Allison: Started out a little sluggish. But she really belted it out at the end. I like her. Quentin has a very dimpled chin. I hope she doesn't get voted off. She's the only singer I look forward to hearing. Great! Now I have nothing to look forward to for the next 48+ minutes.

Anoop: He "would fight for you" and "Lie for you"... hopefully he wasn't talking to his God. Anoop-Dog gives decent performances, but he will be in the bottom three again.

Adam: So, Quentin, you enjoy Adam's 'taste'? If he were any more 'diva' he would be named... "The Mona Diva". That was a Performance! What is Paula talking about? If I cared to understand I would re-wind the DVR. It was like watching some "Rocky Horror" knock-off film; Simon was right.

Matt: Is it just me, or does Quentin look like a registered sex-offender? Great job, Matt. Playing piano with an orchestra in the background. What are you going to do next, host Entertainment Tonight? And make the NBA's theme song? And sell music that is only popular in Europe? Go on tour with Yanni?

Danny: "He gets bored"?! F&CK Him! Ah! The great American Idol "capture the singer in the frame of the harp to begin the song and zoom in" shot. I was BORED by his singing. The same old stuff. Same kinda singing. Heard it already.

Kris: ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Wow, that was bad. I started reading a news article about Republicans and Twittering instead of listening.

Lil: I'm protected... I recorded the entire news show after Fringe so I don't miss the last second of it again. This song reminds me of "Napoleon Dynamite." Shut up! Lil, your taking the show over the time limit. But I'm safe, I've prepared.

Allison shined, Danny sounded the same, and Adam went full Diva... all in all a normal American Idol show.

Who will win... Adam

Who should win... Allison

Who will go... Kris

Monday, April 13, 2009


It's about time!

...but if that doesn't do it for ya, check out these Mr. Show clips.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

2.5 Billion Xbox 360 Achievements Unlocked

Found this on The Escapist. Glad to contribute my 6,381 points.

You think your Gamerscore is impressive? According to Microsoft, Xbox 360 owners have racked up a collective Gamerscore of 52 billion after unlocking a combined 2.5 billion Achievements.

...and that's only counting Xbox 360 units that are hooked up to Xbox Live. Microsoft Director of Product Management for the Xbox, Aaron Greenberg, told Gamasutra that the whopping two-and-a-half billion Achievements unlocked worked out to an average of approximately 150 Achievements per Xbox Live customer.

According to Greenberg, Microsoft originally co-opted the idea of Achievements from the casual space, where they appeared as a way to keep players returning to web portals - but it wasn't until they were implemented with the Xbox 360 that the idea of Achievements truly went mainstream. Greenberg says that as a tool to add stickiness to the console, the Achievement system has been a wild success: the Xbox 360's attach rate of eight games per system "is the highest, ever, for any platform."

Man, it sure would be nice to have an entire Escapist issue devoted to Achievements, wouldn't it? I mean, not like you should come back tomorrow, or anything...

In the meantime, why not play Achievement Unlocked?

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

The Elite Eight

Milli Vanilli, Madonna, Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, Ashlee Simpson... say hello to the new team of future no-talents who only get by on a 'look' instead of musical talent. American Idol is back again with another week of excruciating music.

Ever wonder why piracy is as high as it has ever been? Could it be because the people have decided to actually 'pay for what they get'? I have less contempt for anyone who works in the mortgage or financial industry than American Idol, and that is saying A LOT.

Well, let's see what teenage girls will buy in four months... The American Idol Top 8

Oh, the year they were born... this will be fun...

Danny Gokey: What a cop-out... singing a 50 year-old song that was re-done by a guy in 1980. He probably sang this song at every Young Life camp. "Stand by me" when I detonate my bomb, I will take my life to make sure this pompous twat doesn't make a dime. I bet your God didn't see that coming.

Kris Allen: What's wrong with taxi cab drivers? Anoop would take offense to that. That guitar is not plugged into anything. This is a prime example of a no-talent hack who has a look, so he will stay on the show. When a trumpet has to drown out his singing, you know he is bad. All Paula wants to do is 'Dance' between his sheets.

Lil Rounds: What's talent 'got to do with it'? If you wanna sing Tina like Tina, you are going to fail. Like the high-heels. They are hiding the badadonkadonk. That is the best asset on her. Forgettable. I already forgot. Who am I writing about? The black one, yeah. I mean, the one in the black dress. Paula's rambling...that's all I remember.

Anoop: First Kumar commits suicide on House (if I spoiled the plot twist for you, sorry), now Anoop is up for possible elimination on American Idol. I guess FOX is getting rid of all the Middle Easterners, except for terrorists on 24... Are we nearing mid-term elections? Anoop is being political... did he take a job in the Obama Administration? What is with the shirt, Anoop? Those 'true colors' scream, "Jai Ho"! He may survive another week.

Scott: I'm glad he gave up on the whole train conductor thing. But why did he choose singing? His left eye is looking obscenely to the left. Put some glasses on him and sit him at a piano, damn it! He's going to hit his face on the microphone if he doesn't stop hopping around like that. 'The Search is Over', we have our singer who is going home tomorrow.

Allison: Bonnie Raitt, good choice. Is every song she sing involve laying down with someone? How old's she? She 'can't make' America love her, but America should. I will be depressed when she goes.

Matt: Guess the pimple is still there, now he has his hat covering his second forehead. Is that 'part time' Justin Timberlake? Trying to sound like Stevie, but he can't. Must be short on time, the judges breezed through it. Get the show over, Fringe is coming on!

Adam: He loved playing 'dress-up' as a child? No shit! He is dressing up like a male nowadays. 'I find it hard to take' watching this show every week. He is DIVAx2 tonight. All hail Adam! He probably asks for a bowl of green M&Ms and his favorite incense stick be lit before he enters the building.

There were a few performances I didn't want to slit my wrists over this week. Could I be beginning to like some of these singers? Am I looking forward to next weeks songs? Am I rushing to my computer to downloads these songs to put on my Sirius Stilleto 2? NO

Who will win? Adam

Who should win? Allison

Who will go? Scott

why don't ours look like theirs?!


i never know if it's gonna be 80 degrees or snow when i'm back home in the states. the weather forecasters are BOOOOORING! now, if they looked like these latina and european forecasters, i'm SURE more people would know when to take their umbrellas with them to work.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

A New Albumn Release...

From the band The G-20's featuring Hu Jintao and the Global Regulators.

Albumn Title: "Where'd D Kizash Go?"