J Ho's Favorite Bible Quotes

This quote especially tickles my loins. Now I know why so many people love the Bible: the amount of sexual depravity will make even the most pedophillic priest blush. No wonder the most sexually wild woman were religious. They believe in God, but they love screaming "Oh God!!!" You know about the 'stereotype' of Catholic School Girls? They are a stereotype because some part of it is true

Sunday school lessons tend to focus on God turning Lot's wife into a pillar of salt like she's starring in one of Sarah Connor's nightmares from Terminator 2: Judgment Day. It's the sort of imagery that might distract you from something like flagrant incest

From Genesis 19:30-36
30 Now Lot went up out of Zoar and lived in the hills with his two daughters, for he was afraid to live in Zoar. So he lived in a cave with his two daughters. 31 And the firstborn said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is not a man on earth to come in to us after the manner of all the earth. 32 Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve offspring from our father.” 33 So they made their father drink wine that night. And the firstborn went in and lay with her father. He did not know when she lay down or when she arose.

34 The next day, the firstborn said to the younger, “Behold, I lay last night with my father. Let us make him drink wine tonight also. Then you go in and lie with him, that we may preserve offspring from our father.” 35 So they made their father drink wine that night also. And the younger arose and lay with him, and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose. 36 Thus both the daughters of Lot became pregnant by their father.
Something tells us Lot's daughters would lose any drinking game centered around "Never Have I Ever." If you've done it in a cave--and you've done it with your dad--you've probably also done it tangled in Fruit By The Foot or by accident with a vegetable.

Speaking of people who might want to steer clear of drinking games, the Bible seems to blame the whole thing on the evil women getting the MAN drunk on booze, a strategy you'll recognize from work the morning after karaoke night. How can a woman read this book and think this thing is relevant? The alcohol in this case is wine, which raises the question: how much wine do you have to drink before you became oblivious to the fact that you were having sex with your daughter ... a second time? Well, I drink wine. I guess it depends on how hot the daughters are.