Monday, February 27, 2006

Ron Jeremy meets Walt Disney

I was at work today flipping through one of the many video trade magazines that we get, and lo and behold, I come across what might actually be the coolest porn movie of all time. It's called Pirates, and you can check it out here. Basically it's Pirates of the Carribean with hard-core sex. It won all kinds of AVN awards, and from the web site, I can see why. It's choc-full of stunning special effects, incredible costumes, and what appears to be a faily deep plot. Now, I'm no porn connoseur (unlike other B-Town contributors) but this seems like it might be a really good movie, and it will certainly revolutionize the adult film industry. I've never been too into the whole porn thing, but I'm getting really excited about this movie (pun intended.)

Z, what do you think about this? What do you think about the quality of the actors / actresses? Is this going to be hard-core, or just a late night Skinamax-sorta movie? Oh, and will you buy me a copy and send it to my apartment? (You've got all the porn-dvd-buyin'-hookups)

Sunday, February 26, 2006

they're under my SKIN man!!!

apparently, there's a condition called 'meth mites', where meth-heads itch and scratch themselves 'cause they're all tweakin' and shite. all things considered though, meth IS yummy. that being said, i know i've seen the first girl in bellaire. the second guy i think is either "bill s. preston, esquire" from bill and ted's excellent adventure or that guy, barry pepper, from battlefield: earth where travolta had like 6 fingers and wore platform boots in space (also played earnhardt in '3: the dale earnhardt story'.

six of one, 110 (base 2) of another

Friday, February 24, 2006

You Gotta Check Out This Video

You gotta check out this video. It is from the CBS Evening News Thursday Night. It tells the story of an autistic high school student who is "team manager" of the basketball team. The last game of the season he gets a chance to suit up and ..... well...... you gotta see it. The video is called 'Team Manager Catches Fire' and can be seen in the CBS Video box.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I work with some stupid people....

I tell you... I work with some stupid people.....
who in thier right mind would take a truck with a ladder sticking half-way out above the hood through an auto wash with the brush cleaning??? you know those things follow the contour of the truck (that is until it gets caught by something like a 28ft extension ladder!!!) At least it was clean when it gets $7,500 worth of repairs.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Have no fear.....

J Ho is here. I have created a new espn nascar league (which is private). You will all get a email from me which has the password. the name of the league is:

The Real NDS

Clint will be barred from creating anymore leagues in the future

If others also want on, make sure they get the password.


P.S. Looks like my first race points transferred to the new league. YAY!!!!!!!

if it ain't beer, it's pizza

i was looking at bellaire again today on google earth. it's funny that in a village of 3000 or so people, the primary business is a bar or a pizza shop. if it works, it works, i mean, just about everyone likes to get drunk, especially in that town. and all the pizza tastes just about the same with varying levels of second-hand buzzes you receive walking through the door. i'm kinda partial to dicarlo's where redness nearly beat the shite out of himself trying to choke down some pizza. there was the lovely cockroach crushing outside of bandonee's. but they are now christi's i think and dicarlo's is no more from what i hear, it's mama dee's now or something, and it might've burnt down??? so much happens when i'm away for a year.

i've got me a Grudge and his name is Jeb, great for cleaning out my earmites.

Friday, February 17, 2006

the REAL axis of evil?

The Washington D.C. Pentagram
i have this program called Google Earth that i like to dick around with when i'm bored. i find the typical monuments (eiffel tower, taj mahal, great wall of china, etc.), i've found all the houses, dorms, and apartments i've lived in, etc. good fun.

well, i was going through the bulletin board of other google earthers and found the axis of evil. possibly, the REAL axis of evil, that is. i thought it was pretty strange that i'd never heard of this before (that red dot at the bottom is the white house). click on the picture for a more detailed picture, and a really strange and fairly short analysis of sordid design of washington D.C. (i see another dan cook conspiracy book in the works). if you have a popup blocker turned on, click here for the second link, it's pretty neat.

the missionaries of slyght-ism are both benevolent belligerent and tolerant incontinent when greeting potential converts, thus the reason they fall so quietly in line to genuflect before the all-inebriated Slyght

Thursday, February 16, 2006

A Few Predictions for the 2006 Nextel Cup Season

1With pressure from Penske Racing South and primary sponsor, Kurt Busch will legally change his name to Kurt Miller. Only then will Kurt get drunk, flee from authorities, and beligerently attack sheriff deputies at (insert any track here).
2 Mark Martin will strugle on the track this year while his personal life undergoes a messy divorce. His wife concludes that there is no "spark" in their marriage since Martin lost Viagra as his primary sponsor. However, Martin will just barely make the "Chase" after reconsiling with his wife when he provides a tow when her car breaks down.
3After struggling several weeks due to an aerodynamic disadvantage, several Dodge drivers will abandon the new Charger body style and switch back to the proven style of the '88 Dodge Aries.
4Dispite continuing struggles in the first two months of the '06 season, Dale Jr. will turn his season around when he announces the presence of his newest teammate, Mike Helton.
5After Toyota's announcement to enter the Cup series in '07, several other manufacturers will begin development programs for their vehicles to compete in future years. Some of the more prminent names are Honda, Mercedes, and DeLorean.
6After failing to woo locals, NASCAR and International Speedway Corp. will abandon plans to build a track on New York City's Stanton Island, and focus on a less-ambitious project to build a track on the moon.
7With new administration at Petty Enterprises and led by proven driver Bobby Labonte, the organizatoin will have an overwhelmingly successful year when they only receive DNF's in 32 of the 36 races in '06.
8Due to overwhelming evidence from the relentless media, defending Cup champ Tony Stewart will fianally admit that he's not gay, and have sex with a live horse on national television.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

chumpass, quit being a chumpass

check your e-mail and sign up for the UFL that T set up on . it closes on the 17th. i'm guessing i'll get shafted in the auction again with the time difference, but i'll try anyways. gentlemen, start your engines...

i dub my bellybutton, Slyght's Personal NanoFactory (you never know what's growing in there)

Saturday, February 11, 2006

someone's famous

i'm surprised (well maybe not) how many colored boxes there are around bellaire. out in your addy and see if there's anyone you know.

mmm, burps are yummy

Friday, February 10, 2006

numa-numa, oh my

i've read about the numanuma guy, i've seen the links, i've just never been that interested to check it out before, when i had much more important porn to DL. being that i'm part of this community i decided to check it out, and oh my!

thank god webcams weren't around when i was in high school. i drag this out of the depths. i shouldn't be saying this, but there is no HARD evidence that will affect my future political career. i was in high school, no one was home and i was bored. we had a camcorder (this isn't going THERE!!!). i put on alanis morissette 'jagged little pill' and taped myself singing. then i ran around the house a la the smashing pumpkins - 1979 video spinning the camera upside down and side-to-side. it had all sorts of gay head-banging (to alanis??? anyone recall my senior solo? yup, i'm a winner). it had some faux-emotive faces, dizzying special effects, and other retardation. i could've been a numanuma, and years later...
FT Anonymous Meeting
Bellaire Pubic Library
32nd and Guernsey

ME: Hi, my name is zac
GROUP: (in unison) Hi, zac
ME: so, yeah... um, well... my name's zac and... i'm a FukkTard (breaks down in to tears)
GROUP: it's OK zac, the first step to recovery from being a FukkTard is admitting you are one.
ME: thanks! (sobbing uncontrollably).

yeah, i don't know what was wrong with me. i DO now realize why i didn't get many ladies in high school though. for example, it is proven that where X= "homemade tapes of you lip-syncing" and Y="chances of getting trim", if X > 0, as X increases, Y approaches 1/∞ ≈ 0 in a 10-order magnitude inverse proportion. and for that, i'm making sure my kids have way better social skillz than i.

alcoholics anonymous? shite, first thing they ask me to do is tell 'em my name. thing was, i was so hammered, i couldn't remember it, so if you ever see me at AA, i'm 'raoul ignatius III, Esquire', ricky martin's personal boy-shield / backup's backup ass-double

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Cheap Bastards

For all you CHEAP bastards out there (and there are plenty)here is a great, cheap night out with your significant other!!!!!

Sunday, February 05, 2006

A Classic Link

Here is a classic link from as far back as 2005. The Mammories.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006


Big Ben is a BIG drinker and I wonder if those women know how BIG Ben really is....