Friday, February 10, 2006

numa-numa, oh my

i've read about the numanuma guy, i've seen the links, i've just never been that interested to check it out before, when i had much more important porn to DL. being that i'm part of this community i decided to check it out, and oh my!

thank god webcams weren't around when i was in high school. i drag this out of the depths. i shouldn't be saying this, but there is no HARD evidence that will affect my future political career. i was in high school, no one was home and i was bored. we had a camcorder (this isn't going THERE!!!). i put on alanis morissette 'jagged little pill' and taped myself singing. then i ran around the house a la the smashing pumpkins - 1979 video spinning the camera upside down and side-to-side. it had all sorts of gay head-banging (to alanis??? anyone recall my senior solo? yup, i'm a winner). it had some faux-emotive faces, dizzying special effects, and other retardation. i could've been a numanuma, and years later...
FT Anonymous Meeting
Bellaire Pubic Library
32nd and Guernsey

ME: Hi, my name is zac
GROUP: (in unison) Hi, zac
ME: so, yeah... um, well... my name's zac and... i'm a FukkTard (breaks down in to tears)
GROUP: it's OK zac, the first step to recovery from being a FukkTard is admitting you are one.
ME: thanks! (sobbing uncontrollably).

yeah, i don't know what was wrong with me. i DO now realize why i didn't get many ladies in high school though. for example, it is proven that where X= "homemade tapes of you lip-syncing" and Y="chances of getting trim", if X > 0, as X increases, Y approaches 1/∞ ≈ 0 in a 10-order magnitude inverse proportion. and for that, i'm making sure my kids have way better social skillz than i.

alcoholics anonymous? shite, first thing they ask me to do is tell 'em my name. thing was, i was so hammered, i couldn't remember it, so if you ever see me at AA, i'm 'raoul ignatius III, Esquire', ricky martin's personal boy-shield / backup's backup ass-double

1 comment:

Everything Nice said...

LMAO Fukktard... that's fucking hilarious.

Okay well yeah, I won't tell any body Raoul... as long as you PROMISE not to cut in on my Narcotics Anonymous class and blow my cover.

Carla Genous Jones
(brittney's pregnancy double)

oh, and lip-syncing... yeah, no trim honey unless you're stripping while you're doing it.

do it though, and send MPEG's to my email.