Thursday, February 16, 2006

A Few Predictions for the 2006 Nextel Cup Season

1With pressure from Penske Racing South and primary sponsor, Kurt Busch will legally change his name to Kurt Miller. Only then will Kurt get drunk, flee from authorities, and beligerently attack sheriff deputies at (insert any track here).
2 Mark Martin will strugle on the track this year while his personal life undergoes a messy divorce. His wife concludes that there is no "spark" in their marriage since Martin lost Viagra as his primary sponsor. However, Martin will just barely make the "Chase" after reconsiling with his wife when he provides a tow when her car breaks down.
3After struggling several weeks due to an aerodynamic disadvantage, several Dodge drivers will abandon the new Charger body style and switch back to the proven style of the '88 Dodge Aries.
4Dispite continuing struggles in the first two months of the '06 season, Dale Jr. will turn his season around when he announces the presence of his newest teammate, Mike Helton.
5After Toyota's announcement to enter the Cup series in '07, several other manufacturers will begin development programs for their vehicles to compete in future years. Some of the more prminent names are Honda, Mercedes, and DeLorean.
6After failing to woo locals, NASCAR and International Speedway Corp. will abandon plans to build a track on New York City's Stanton Island, and focus on a less-ambitious project to build a track on the moon.
7With new administration at Petty Enterprises and led by proven driver Bobby Labonte, the organizatoin will have an overwhelmingly successful year when they only receive DNF's in 32 of the 36 races in '06.
8Due to overwhelming evidence from the relentless media, defending Cup champ Tony Stewart will fianally admit that he's not gay, and have sex with a live horse on national television.


themom said...

very interesting observations - can't wait for the races on the moon!!! keep p the good work!

B-Town V.J.G. J Ho said...

come on, man!!!! when does a prediction list only have 8 entries? it either has to be 5 or 10. chad, you have to go all the way, unlike what Jr. will ever do.

mom said...

your list was great as usual...and junior will show em sunday...i'm counting on number 8 on your list to happen...i've never seen anything like ya mom

slyght said...

sounds like a week in update top 8 list.

"FREE OJ!!!"

"then coach magistro broke in to the guitar solo from we will rock you'"