Controversial Anti-Religious Commentary

...not really, but that seems to be the direction this blog is going.

I stumbled across this and thought it was funny. I don't even watch 24, but thoroughly enjoyed this video of the un-aired 24 pilot from 1994.

Imagine the Conversation

Dad, did dinosaurs really exist?
Sure they did, son. The Bible says so. They didn't call them "dinosaurs" back then, but instead they were known as "leviathans" or "behemoths".
But, my science teacher says dinosaurs lived millions of years ago. Is that true?
Of course not, son.
Then how old are they?
Well, let's see. The Bible tells us [from Adam and Eve's family tree] that the Universe is only a few thousand years old. So dinosaurs had to have lived within the past few thousand years. That's simple logic, son.
Oh. So that means they were on Noah's Ark?
Absolutely! The Bible says two of every animal were brought [by God] to the ark. Dinosaurs were animals. So, using your logic again son, dinosaurs had to be on the ark.
Huh. So how come scientists say they're older than that? and died way before Jesus?
Well, son, they just make that up. Dinosaur bones don't have labels on them to tell how old they are. In fact, there is no proof whatsoever that the world and its fossil layers are millions of years old. No scientist saw dinosaurs die-
Dad!
No I'm serious. Scientists only find the bones in the here and now, and because many of them are evolutionists, they try to fit the story of the dinosaurs into their view.
That's sad. But I thought scientists were smart?
Sure, but they don't know everything. So they have to make stuff up to fit their beliefs. While you and I, we have the facts, straight from the Bible.
I don't want to be a scientist!
Ha! That's ok, son. It's better to be right, than smart.

Alcohol Quizzes are Fun!

I followed a link of JHo's post and wanted to share my Death by Booze results.

It would take 23 shots of Jim Beam to kill me

Apparently I was nearly dead in Richmond... 32 oz. bottle divided by 1.5 oz. per shot = 21.33 shots. I was going to post my Vodka results (the infamous bean bag lugie incident) but that was also 23 shots.

Giant Pikachu Vagina

...'nuff said.


For some reason, this made me laugh like a little schoolgirl. Tee hee.

How Drunk Are You???

89%DRUNKARD

That Bug ATE Me

Scientists have discovered a fossilized claw of a 390,000,000 (that's 390 MILLION YEAR OLD) sea scorpion. The size of the claw was enormous, even for really, really, really old standards. Below is the scale of this bug compared to man.

My picks for this year's UFL awards show...

because I can't handle anymore creation vs. evolution debating. Calgon take me away!

(1)The Best History In The Making award goes to Big C. In the 5 years that we have been competing in the UFL Big C becomes the first to win back to back championships. Big C did you have JJ on your team last year? We know about Big C's 24-12 record this year, but lets take a look at his numbers for the Chase. He put together a 7-3 record in the chase and also scored 4,111 pts in the chase. Also never lost to Juddy or Z in the chase.

(2)The Worst History In The Making award goes to Big Z. I don't recall a time when the last place driver failed to post at least 10 wins. Big Z's 9-27 record may be the first. If anyone can remember another such event please let us know. His chase record was 2-8. Both wins coming against Chump.

(3)The Lee Corso "Not so fast my friend" award goes to Juddy. Let's take a look at an excerpt from a J Ho post on Friday, October 5, 2007:

"In my final analysis, J Ho pulls out the narrow victory. I say this due to the difficutly of the remaining opponents and the fact that J Ho only faces the other two leaders one time a piece."

Prediction of final records:
J HO 23-13
C 22-14
Red 21-15

What J Ho failed to realize was his 5-5 chase record with 2 wins coming against Red and Z. Thus, he eliminated Red, but was eliminated himself by Big C.

(4)The I pwned you award goes to Big C and Juddy for their group effort in pwning Big Z in every matchup this year. Big Z got beat so much by C and Juddy that it even caused his K/D ratio on Halo 3 to drop.

And I don't mean O.J.

Another black athlete has been indicted. This one is not surprise. I wonder why it took this long to come back with a decision? Almost everyone in this country knew the truth.

Our New Dog

Amy and I got a dog last weekend. Her name is Lady and she's an American Bulldog. We didn't name her, she's about 2 years old and the name carried over from her previous owners. They had to give her up due to moving. She's as strong as an ox and very quick. She's an awesome frisbee dog. Here's a couple pics.

Queen... Lyrical Geniuses or Gay Potheads?

...YOU DECIDE

There was a time in the 80's where people believed that "the evil rock music" (such as was produced by Queen, Led Zeppelin, the Who, and the like) contained hidden messages when played backwards. The whole absurdity of this, of course, is that the music was intended to be played forward and the only people who heard the "hidden messages" were those that were playing the songs backwards with the intention of hearing those "hidden message." It's completely unrealistic to believe that anybody would write lyrics with the intent, that when played backwards, would convince the listener to "accept Satan", or "do drugs", or "join the Pepsi generation." Nevertheless, here's new evidence (actually I'm sure it's really old evidence) that Queen may have not been the lyrical geniuses that we all have grown to know and love, and instead are just a bunch of hippies trying to convince us all to "do the pot."

Listen Here to Queen's message.

Well, let me just say that I've never believed in this hogwash. I've always felt it's just some crazy people trying to bamboozle us with their paranoid tom-foolery.

That is... until today. This next clip undoubtedly confirms that the "play-it-backwards-for-hidden-message" theory is, in fact, real! Remember Britney back in the days when she was actually do-able? When you actually wanted to know what her vagina looked like? Before the days of Federline, shaved heads, barefoot public bathrooms, drunken rambling fits, and neglectful parenting? You know... the days of Britney's innocence?

BACK TO BACK!!

Big C On Top Again

It's official. The news broken by JHo last night has been validated by nascar.com. Big C locked up the title this weekend. The title is Big C's second in as many years.

"I would like to congratulate all the competitors who make the UFL the most exciting form of fantasy racing based off a single auction draft held at the beginning of the year. Millions of fans around the world tune in each week to watch us compete, and that's what makes this championship so sweet."

When asked if he considered running the ESPN.com league next year, Big C stated that obligations to his sponsors and involvement in charity work prevented him from fielding teams in a competing league.

Annual Awards Dinner Set (Also Big C's 30th Bday Party?)

On the weekend before Christmas, plans are being made to honor the top six in this year's UFL competition. This may or may not be also for Big C's 30th. Please reply back if you'll be in town. Rumor has it this year's event will be held at the Roadhouse.

The UFL is over!!!

I am announcing defeat at the sticky hands of Big C. C beat Chump by a total of 370-323. T beat Me (Juddy) by a score of 454-420. That puts C up by two with only one game to go. Next year, the victory will be mine!!!

It Rubs The Lotion On It's Skin

Headed North To See Them Buckeyes

This is last years version, but it will still PUMP YOU UP for gameday.

guitar hero sucks...

6 Guys Beat Hardest Guitar Hero Level Ever - Watch more free videos
... but this is still kinda cool. i think everyone knows that i'm probably the only person who has heard of guitar hero who doesn't like it. still, this is pretty impressive. i'm not so impressed by the fact that in this video, they complete one of the hardest songs in the game, i'm impressed that SIX people can coordinate that well on one little plastic guitar. still, i think they wasted too much time practicing this when they should've been out trying to hook up or something. you can be excited about accomplishing something like this, but you can't shit-talk about this. that's my take. either way, this one is for juddy and T.

Bungie.net

Attention Halo 3 nerds: Go to bungie.net and sign in with your Windows Live ID (use the email addy you used when setting up your Xbox account). See all your stats. See all your friends' stats. Realize only JHo has a positive kill ratio in ranked matches. Check out the file shares. Witness my screen shot of the Valhalla Sniper Shot from 1/2 way across the board.

Go Get Your Shine Box

Warning: The following video contains explicit language. Viewer discretion is advised.

Wait, Wait... Who's Benny Lava?

Need This Say More...