Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Another Reason to Hate Rupert Murdoch

Tonight, American Idol kicked off it's Final 12 with a Final 13. Do we really need one more shitty week of this show? And how fun for it to be "Michael Jackson Week" this week. Here, once again, is my American Idol Finals Review.

1. Lil Rounds:
"You make me feel" like changing the channel. She is as close as there is to a BBW on this year's finals. Where is BBW at this year? We need a BBW!

2. Scott MacIntyre:
Don't fall off the stage! Too bad he'll never see Paula's feathered dress.

3. Danny Gokey:
Jamira-gay. How many pairs of different colored glasses does he own?

4. Michael Sarver:
What the hell are you doing on this show! Your co-workers are making fun of you every night at the local bar where you all go after work.

5. Jasmine Murray:
Looks like her mom bought some new hair for the top 13 performances. Boring.

6. Kris Allen:
He sucks! His Wife's Hot! Why is he playing an acoustic guitar for a Michael Jackson song? That is like playing tambourine during a death metal song, it doesn't look right.

7. Allison Iraheta:
She's only 16? She sounds like a rock veteran who drinks a bottle of whiskey a night. Well, she dresses goth but she is not dark; she doesn't cut herself or anything.

8. Anoop Desai:
Kumar! Is there a part of Hollywood NOT invaded by BOLLYWOOD?! FIrst the Oscars, now American Idol. What's next... Bollywood actors on "Celebrity Rebah with Dr Drew"?

9. Jorge Nuñez:
Carnival Cruise Lines is calling... they want their headline act back.

10. Megan Joy:
I was waiting for Bob Hope to come walking out with a golf club over his shoulder. All she needed was a U.S.O. hat. Can't wait to see the rest of her tattoos in Penthouse in four years.

11. Adam Lambert:
When did Zac Efron turn SUPERgay? You go girl!

12. Matt Giraud:
Why, Why am I still watching this show. Paula's pills are wearing off.

13. Alexis Grace:
Her dad looks like somebody who shouldn't be around kids.

Where is the SUPER-SUPER Gay Sanjaya? Where is the BBW? Where is the weird looking back-up singer with her first shot at the front? Where is the crooning 15 year-old boy?

My prediction for American Idol winner? Adam Lambert

1 comment:

B Town Chump said...

For the first time since Idol season 1, I've actually been watching American Idol every week. I do like your comments and would love a weekly update.

Danny Gokey is my favorite, while Jackie is in Lil Rounds Camp. However, Adam Lambert is really coming on strong and may be my new favorite.